2 Develop your own stress plan

Having a plan will help you manage stress.

We’ve explored lots of different strategies and techniques for managing stress.

Now we’re going to work towards building your very own stress plan. You’ll be able to print and keep your stress plan to use whenever you’re feeling stressed.

Sadness and anger

Sometimes stress can cause us to feel sadness or anger.

These might be the first feelings you notice.

Anger

Sometimes when we have been stressed for a long time we can start to feel anger.

Everyone feels anger in a different way.

We may feel anger in:

Our muscles that tighten
Our jaw that clenches
Our stomach that feels sick
Our face that goes red

Sad

Sometimes when people are stressed they feel sadness.

When people are sad they tend to become quiet and don’t really feel like doing much.

Sadness feels different for everyone.

Sadness can make you feel tired. Or it may look like tears or a body that moves slowly.

How to deal with stress.

In this next activity, click on the cause of stress to discover techniques for managing each cause.

Causes of stress

Are you feeling stressed but not sure why?

Techniques

Remember – stress is normal. You can feel stressed for no particular reason.

Try talking to someone you trust about how you feel. Talking about it might help you get some relief from your feelings.

Are you having disagreements with your friends at school?

Techniques

Try telling them how you feel without blaming them.

‘This situation is making me feel really stressed, what do you think we can do to solve it.’

If this doesn’t work, try taking some time out. Do something you know makes you feel good.

Sometimes all you need is space.

Do you get nervous before tests at school?

Techniques

Use the STOP Method.

Stop what you are doing
Take 3, long deep breaths
Observe your body
Proceed (this might mean doing something else to help calm you down, 10 star jumps, more breaths, a run around the school playground – just ask your teacher first).

Are you finding things at home stressful?

Techniques

Try doing something that gets you out and about in nature. A walk or ride around the block or perhaps Google a relaxing yoga class to try.

Do you find that being around your brothers and sisters sometimes feels stressful?

Techniques

Have a relaxing bath or a warm shower with relaxing music playing. Slow or classical music can help relax your body and mind.

Does it take you a while to fall asleep at night?

Techniques

Sometimes racing thoughts can keep you awake at night.

Moving your focus away from these thoughts and back to your body can help you drift off to sleep.

Progressive Muscle Relaxation (PMR) can help take away tension in your body.

All you have to do is tighten and relax each part of your body, starting with your toes, then your feet, moving up your legs, then each part of your body all the way to your face.

Hold each body part for 5 seconds and then release.

Are you finding your schoolwork stressful?

Techniques

Who can you speak to about your schoolwork?

Getting things off your chest can be very calming and help you to refocus. Your thoughts can have a big impact on your feelings towards your schoolwork.

Try building positive self-talk by :

Acknowledging a particularly challenging or unhelpful thought and reminding yourself that thoughts aren’t facts.
Consider the evidence for and against this thought
Challenge the thought by speaking to yourself with compassion – what would you say to a friend thinking the same thing? Create a more helpful thought.

See if you can follow this process from a recent unhelpful thought you’ve had.

Do you notice that you get very nervous when you have to talk in front of your class?

Techniques

Try taking 3 deep breaths.

Pretend you’re filling up a balloon in your belly, then let the air out.

Do you have regular feelings of fear that you have trouble controlling?

Techniques

Who is your school counsellor?

Talking to a trusted adult can be really helpful. Remember the basics of SELF (Sleep, Exercise, Leisure and Food) can really help to reduce anxiety.

Do you notice that your self talk (the thoughts inside your head) are negative?

Techniques

Treating yourself like you would a friend can be very soothing. When you notice your negative self-talk, place a hand on your chest and say something nice to yourself, just like you would to a friend going through a tough time.

For example:

“I can see you aren’t feeling well, you have worked so hard today, I am really proud of you.”

Do you often worry that you aren’t going to meet your parents or caregivers expectations?

Techniques

Remember that all you can do is your best.

This breathing exercise might help:

Try sitting down somewhere quiet.

As you breathe in say to yourself ‘I do my best’….

As you breathe out say to yourself ‘ I let the rest go’.

Techniques

Remember – stress is normal. You can feel stressed for no particular reason.

Try talking to someone you trust about how you feel. Talking about it might help you get some relief from your feelings.

Try telling them how you feel without blaming them.

‘This situation is making me feel really stressed, what do you think we can do to solve it.’

If this doesn’t work, try taking some time out. Do something you know makes you feel good.

Sometimes all you need is space.

Use the STOP Method.

Stop what you are doing
Take 3, long deep breaths
Observe your body
Proceed (this might mean doing something else to help calm you down, 10 star jumps, more breaths, a run around the school playground – just ask your teacher first).

Try doing something that gets you out and about in nature. A walk or ride around the block or perhaps Google a relaxing yoga class to try.

Have a relaxing bath or a warm shower with relaxing music playing. Slow or classical music can help relax your body and mind.

Sometimes racing thoughts can keep you awake at night.

Moving your focus away from these thoughts and back to your body can help you drift off to sleep.

Progressive Muscle Relaxation (PMR) can help take away tension in your body.

All you have to do is tighten and relax each part of your body, starting with your toes, then your feet, moving up your legs, then each part of your body all the way to your face.

Hold each body part for 5 seconds and then release.

Who can you speak to about your schoolwork?

Getting things off your chest can be very calming and help you to refocus. Your thoughts can have a big impact on your feelings towards your schoolwork.

Try building positive self-talk by :

Acknowledging a particularly challenging or unhelpful thought and reminding yourself that thoughts aren’t facts.
Consider the evidence for and against this thought
Challenge the thought by speaking to yourself with compassion – what would you say to a friend thinking the same thing? Create a more helpful thought.

See if you can follow this process from a recent unhelpful thought you’ve had.

Try taking 3 deep breaths.

Pretend you’re filling up a balloon in your belly, then let the air out.

Who is your school counsellor?

Talking to a trusted adult can be really helpful. Remember the basics of SELF (Sleep, Exercise, Leisure and Food) can really help to reduce anxiety.

For example:

“I can see you aren’t feeling well, you have worked so hard today, I am really proud of you.”

Remember that all you can do is your best.

This breathing exercise might help:

Try sitting down somewhere quiet.

As you breathe in say to yourself ‘I do my best’….

As you breathe out say to yourself ‘ I let the rest go’.